A Simple Thing I Know and Often Forget

I learned about something new today:  the myth of “redemptive violence.”  In effect, when someone does something to offend or anger me, I have the right to be enraged and inflict violence on them, and that is key to my success.  The more I thought about it, the myth became apparent.  Anger is a hungry beast that has to keep eating.  It is an animal that eats its own tail and thence becomes bigger and hungrier.  Sometimes it doesn’t stop until someone is dead.  Something else has to stop it from eating.  Maybe it’s a gentle teacher on a playground breaking up a fight, or that friend who pulled me aside and told me to chill.  Violence doesn’t redeem.  But it sure makes me feel powerful in the moment.  When it’s in full, fiery bloom, we know that we can wreak all kinds of damage.  We can end or ruin many people’s lives right then and there.  We are gods unto ourselves – passing judgment and meting out punishment as we please.

After all the killing in the last month, I wonder if there’s any way out.  Are we going to eat ourselves up painfully until society goes to hell?  There has to be an answer.  Well, I also learned today just how simple the answer is, and that I’ve known it since I was born.  It’s called love.  Pure and simple.  I need to love my neighbor – who just happens to be everybody.  But it’s as simple as it is hard.  Of course, in addition to puppies, babies, my wife and my family, I have to love blacks, gays, Jews, and Muslims.  But does this mean that I have to love the guy who just cut me off in his 4×4 just to prove his manhood?  Or the selfish woman who took all the samples off the tray in Costco?  Yes, I do.  Yet I still often forget the simple answer.  The notion that I have to put my self aside and recognize that for all their differences, quirks, and downright idiocy, these people are made of the same stuff as me.  They live, they die, they have families, happy times and sorrow just like me.  But that’s harder than it sounds, and it already  sounds pretty tough.

Still, those are the easy ones.  What about those who hate?  What about all those recent killers, those twisted and sick people who just want to hurt everybody or a select few?  Seriously?  I have to love THEM?  Yeah, I think that’s the idea.  I struggle with that a lot. It feels like I’m handing victory to an enemy who wronged me.  But love doesn’t mean giving in or giving up or not defending myself or my family.  It does mean that the beast of rage and anger shouldn’t control my actions – or my thoughts, and that I recognize them as human beings.  I was taught to believe that God loves each and every one of us.  Am I so perfect that I can choose differently?

A wise preacher once related it this way:  many of us have been taught that God is love.  When we contemplate evil or Satan, we think the opposite – it’s all about hate.  But this man put a different spin on it.  Evil is selective love.  I will only love you if you’re rich or white or straight.  I will only love you if you stay in your own lane or let me get mine first.  And then anger gets a chance to grow and eat me up.

I can’t count how many times I’ve forgotten this.

They Say It’s Your Birthday

I have discovered how much I love birthdays.  By birthdays, I mean mine.  As I tell all those who get my wishes for their birthdays, “make everyone be nice to you.”  Tongue in cheek, but I think it’s at least a little bit deserved:  another punch in your ticket for trips around the sun.  Think of the miles you should get…

But I found that people really are nice to you on your birthday – if they know it’s your birthday.  There are a variety of ways to ensure this.  Basically they all equate to: just tell ‘em.  “Hey, 50ish years ago, you wouldn’t believe what my Mom did!”  That’ll get you a very nice sundae at Red Lobster (thanks, Rolando).  My family has described some of this behavior as the “Howdy Thing.”  I think that has something to do with me trying to be nice to tollbooth operators along the Autoroute in France.

Social media is evidently a great way to celebrate the blessed event.  But it means that everyone knows it.  The fact that I can get even a little of my medical information over the phone with just my name and date of birth gets the heebie-jeebies going.  I turned mine off – or so I thought.  Then a few months later, I got comments like “I didn’t know you were a New Year’s baby!!”  Thanks to all of you who sent nice wishes, but Facebook’s default setting took you astray.

Well, everyone was nice to me today.  I got phone calls from all my family.  They have a wide range of singing abilities.  Cards and presents.  What’s not to love?  A great night out with Linda and Helen.  Ate too much.

Happy Birthday to ya’

 

Credits/Apologies to The Beatles